Monday, October 28, 2013

Let down by feminism

When I first heard of Feminism, I doubt whether there were many in the world who rejoiced about it as much as I did. Here, at last, was a social movement that would make all my dreams come true - or so I thought. I must, unwillingly, admit that it has been a let-down to me so far though I have still not given up hope.

I wanted to be wooed with chocolates and flowers (cigars and cognac for preference but there is a weird animal, called 'political correctness', loose in the world which gets in the way of everything we enjoy) by a woman. I wanted billets doux written to me, even with mis-spelt English and bad rhyming. I wanted a woman to take me on a cruise on her yacht on the Aegean, go down on one knee before me on a romantic moonlit night, slip a Rolex on my wrist and propose to me. It is because no woman has, yet, done this to me that I am still single - and still waiting. What is the purpose of Feminism, pray, if it will not even satisfy such a simple dream?

Oh, by the way, if you were wondering about why any woman would WANT to do all this for ME, I have a compelling argument. I offer one thing that no handsome hulk can offer - there will never be a day of anxiety about what if age robs me of my looks. One can lose only what one possesses in the first place. (Remember this irresistible attraction of mine whenever doubt raises its ugly head in your mind when you read the words to come)

I suppose it was too much to expect that the Mother-in-Law would tell me,"In our family, sons-in-law do not go to work. How can a woman live in self-respect if she lives off her husband's earnings?" and scupper any ideas of my venturing into the world of slogging. (She would not have to try too hard - or even try). But I could, at least, expect a modern woman to tell me indulgently,"Go to work if you want to - although I earn enough for the two of us." Not happening. I suppose for this we men are to blame since we developed that ingenious argument that "In today's world, both are needed to earn if a family is to have a decent life"

But, hang on, wait a minute. I was intending to accept only a woman who proposed to me on HER yacht on a cruise in the Aegean, right? Could such a woman really NEED her spouse to earn? So, what is all this nonsense about "It takes two to pay all the EMIs"?

That, by the way, neatly disposes off the need to cook, change the bedspreads, air the curtains and all that. We would have enough money to hire people to do all that. All I would have to do was daintily pass on the cups of tea when people come home and I could just about do that. (Daintily? There, I suppose, I go a bit too far. Alright, drop the 'daintily' there). I think I can also rise up to the challenge of giving my wife a hard time about forgetting our anniversary (provided I can remember it myself).

Daydreams! Feminism has still not got to a point where my dreams can all be satisfied. It leaves me still single and waiting in forlorn hope that things will get better in my lifetime. I hope, at least, that a future me will be in a position to have these dreams satisfied.

Meanwhile....I wait....

61 comments:

  1. I don't know whether I need to laugh at the crazy self deprecatory humor in this post or cry at the absolute absence of feminism of this nature in the world.

    The women don't know what they missed out on when they didn't propose to you, woo you, spend on you, splurge of you. All of womankind has lost out on the charms, handsomeness, ruggedness of a prime example of a 'man' that you really are. Pity that.

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    1. That is the only consolation - that women do not know what they have missed :)

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  2. Brilliant post Sir, please take a bow from me.

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  3. Nicely brought out ludicrousness of the idea of completely eliminating gender differences. Equality or equity does not mean sameness.

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  4. wow! that was totally entertaining :)

    Cheers & God bless...!!

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  5. Phew! that felt like a slap. But for me Feminism is not about women behaving like men and vice-versa. It's more about empowerment.

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    1. Oh! Well that's the problem with my humor :) This one was actually a dig at men who consider equality to mean sameness :) TF got it - and I was afraid that quite a few would see it as a dig against feminism.

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  6. Haha,all hopes dashed to the ground.We women are not so stupid as to go all the way in equality.My sympathies are with you Suresh.

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    1. Hmm! Well i am done earning and all that so even if it does happen it is too late for me :)

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  7. Fabulous, Suresh! First I was imagining all the Rolex slipping on your wrist and proposals and the demure you passing on cups of tea. Yes, gender equality was never supposed to mean this. Your post reminded me of an article shared by a male friend about why fewer men were getting married in Western countries these days due to the expectations of women from husbands to do chores which research has proven they are not wired or capable of doing well. Needless to say, that opened a can of worms with allegations flowing in thick and fast.

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    1. Thanks Rachna! Good to know that I brought out what I wanted to say - and without causing too much offense :)

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  8. I now know the reason for you being single. I totally agree with you. Don't lose hope...there will be a woman just for you. All you have to do is do the rounds of the Indian coast to see if there's a yacht docked somewhere. :)

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  9. HAW!!!! I do not approve of this post *nods reading each and every sentence*
    My heart goes for you... hahahahahaah!!

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    1. Hmmm! I think I can live with this sort of disapproval :)

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  10. If it doesn't take two to pay all the EMIs, you're not modern enough - yet. Modernity is all about spending more - that's why they invented the credit card. And car. And lake-view homes. You need to try and get into the grips of modernity, otherwise you'll not be liked much by the bankers :P

    Destination Infinity

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    1. You mean Anil Ambani and Mukesh Ambani are also worried about EMIs - or are disliked by bankers? :)

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  11. This was the perfect morning sandwich. Layered with thoughts toasted in reality and stuffed with totally your kinda humor. And all so neatly packed together.

    Are you expecting a sandwich in return? Sigh, these men. Always expecting the women to cook :D

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    1. Not at all! I expect the COOK to cook :)

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    2. I'm going to share your post on my fb page. Hope it's fine.
      https://www.facebook.com/ashwiniashokkumar.site

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    3. Fine? I am doing cartwheels around the house :) * Delirious with joy *

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  12. Not in your lifetime, Lady Suresh!

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    1. Should I call this gender stereotyping? :) The moment I talk of being wooed you call me 'Lady' Suresh. :)

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  13. Someday, Suresh, you will achieve that dream! ;) I mean, you could eat that cake and have it too!

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  14. LOL Sir, couldn't stop laughing on your proposal scene. I thought only girls fancy costly/luxurious things.

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    1. Hmm! Saru! Some men do too - at least the money that all those luxurious things mean :)

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  15. I had been talking about equality to my elder one and how girls and boys are equal, blah blah, and then at one particular gathering, I asked him to give way to a girl in queue and told him it was gentlemanly....in return i got a stare and a question.."so all that lecture on equality means nothing now?"

    im guilty of double standards myself... :(

    had a belly full of laughs reading this !!! great post! u hit the nail right where it should be!

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    1. Tough to explain to kids that equal can also mean different. I would not call them double standards exactly. My point was only that when some differential treatment is expected by women it is but natural that men too would require some differential treatment. Like, IF the woman of the house considers that the final responsibility for financial problems is the man's THEN she should not complain when he considers that the final responsibility of the household issues is hers. That does not mean that each does not help the other in what is seen as the others' responsibility.

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    2. I have always read your posts but never commented for the fear of my comments not justifying your posts which are so very well written. I love the way you write. Take a bow Suresh. Not adding the "Sir" suffix because you are still very young at heart. :)

      Coming to this post, I agree that majority of us have a wrong notion of "gender equality". Women are good at tweaking a few things to suit them well. :p

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    3. Thanks Pooja! I LOVE comments and it is not like I am so 'intellectual' that you need to think about what to write :)

      All of us try, don't we, to tweak things to suit us? :)

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  16. Wow! This is amazing sir! Wonderfully written. Looking at the title, I had a mild fear that it might be a serious post, but my fears were unjustified. It does raise some serious questions though.

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    1. Thanks Adarsh! Glad I did not disappoint you :)

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  17. What a fantastic post . Suresh your a word smith in true sense . Here is nomination of Liebster Award for your awesome writing :)
    HAppy Diwali

    http://www.sweetsharing.com/liebster-award/

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    1. Thanks Garima for the compliment and for the award. Wish you and your family a very happy Diwali too.

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  18. I have been after my wife to let me stay at home while she supports me. Not working. She loves her sleep too.

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  19. Why, Suresh any woman will go after you just for your humour! By the way, are you really single? Like your style with words that brings a smile to the reader each time,every time

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    1. Thanks Rajeev! I'm afraid I am a far way off fending off women lured to me by the sense of humor :) And, yes, I really am single

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  20. Brilliant, as always, Suresh. I too silently hope that we get to such situation.. but men are to blame and being a man, I can only repent what the species I belong to did to the fairer sex!

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    1. Ah! Don't put all that ancestral blame on ourselves :) I can only live the life I have properly - cannot go back in time to correct all that everyone in the past has done :)

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  21. Brilliant!
    No need to say more than: I've subscribed to your blog.

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  22. That was humorous. If that's what is feminism I should reconsider calling myself as one.;)

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    1. Ah! That is what I wished Feminism would be or become :)

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  23. Real men are indeed those who can joke about the stereotypes of being men
    Kudos to you. You have done a huge favour to your gender with this one.

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  24. Fantastic Suresh ! I don't know whether it was a dig at feminism or whether you were trying to bring out the point of equality is not sameness, but I definitely cant refute much of what you say. And I say, why not ? Why should it be any different ? It looks ridiculous only because it appears improbable and I ask, why should it be so improbable.

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    1. In a way, it WAS a dig at some 'feminists', who are keen to see chauvinism in what are possibly natural differences between the sexes where it suits them but seem totally oblivious of the fact that there are areas where it works the other way around. :)

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  25. Hilarity ensues the moment you start reading this post. Any lady with a sense of humor should buy that yacht and whirlwind romance you before dropping on her knee! Err, if that is what you really want...

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  26. Even batting for equity, you did put it across like a man, of the good kind for a change. For me, the post revealed a new perspective where Feminism, as a school of thought, could be viewed by people in an altogether different albeit pretentious light. What bigger hypocrisy than to wish a complete role-swap in a world, feminism incarnate!

    Marhaba!

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    1. THAT has happened on both sides, hasn't it, Purnendu? This talking of the other sex doing a total role swap :)

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  27. I like this kind of humour. Written so well sir :D

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  28. Suresh, women folks, whether traditional or of the women's lib group are smarter than you. Alka daal galneywali Nahin. Khwab, khwab hi Reh jayega..,

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